From Our “Writing Past Wrongs” Department!

10. BOND – “Well, what genius gadgets do you have for me this time, Q?”
[beat] Q – “Nothing. Do some work for a change.”

9. KOSKOV – “McDonald’s Big Mac, the best!” [beat] BOND – “The brand on the list was questionable, sir. So I took the liberty of choosing something else.”

8. M – [from interior of plane above Rock of Gibraltar] “Gentlemen, this may only be an exercise as far as the Ministry of Defense is concerned. But for me, it is a matter of pride that you have been chosen to demonstrate Suzanne Sommers’ new buttocks reducing machine.”

7. MOMMY – “Hi, I’m Mommy.” BOND – “But of course you are.” MOMMY – “Mommy O’ Mia!” BOND – “Named after your father, perhaps.”

6. BOND – [Scowling in Moneypenny’s direction] “Sir, I have the honor to request, you will accept, my resignation, effective forthwith, from our regular tiddlywinks foursome at the St. James Club…”

5. QUARREL – “Crab cakes scare me plenty! Friend of mine, went up to Dr. No’s place once for seafood. Only trouble is, they never come back again.”

4. BOND – “My dear girl, there are some things that just aren’t done. Such as drinking Dom Perignon ’53, without a twinkie for a chaser, or some lovely Oreo cookies. That’s almost as bad as listening to the GoldenEye soundtrack without earmuffs.”

3. BLOFELD – “Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Ernst…Stavro…Blofeld…they told me you were assassinated in Hong Kong?” BOND – “Not quite. I simply ingested some rather alarming Chinese Takeaway there. Luckily, Q provided Alka Seltzer for just such an emergency.” BLOFELD – [still soft spoken to Bond] “You only burp twice, Mr. Bond…”

2. BOND – “Whoever she was, I must have scared The Living In Harmony With The Wetlands, Volume II out of her…”

1. TREVELYAN – “…But where your parents had the luxury of dying in a climbing accident…my parents survived the British betrayal, and…” BOND – [annoyed] “Luxury? Sorry? Sorry? To have no parents and live with old Aunt Charmian at age twelve? Beg your pardon, bruddah?!”