Hollywood (Reuters) – All of Hollywood turned their attention to 007Forever, Sunday, March 25th, 2001 as the 1st Annual “Bondies” were handed out. The Bondies celebrate the best, and worst, in 007 cinematic achievement. Recipients of the Best Artistic and Technical awards received a 6-inch tall, 24 karat, gold-plated statuette of the classic tuxedoed action icon while winners of the “Worst” categories received their prize, a check for a $1.98 and a hard-plastic, metallic-gold, spray-painted statuette, at a star-studded, all-you-can-eat buffet dinner hosted by Shoney`s.
Though few stars nominated for the WORST categories showed up, a couple did manage to come in and take advantage of the all-you-can-eat buffet. Icebreaker hosted the event and got the evening off to a hot start by announcing the winner of the WORST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A LEADING OR SUPPORTING ROLE.
Folks, it was not even a competition. It was a massacre. Tanya Roberts handily won this category witha whopping 60% of the vote total. Poor Denise Richards could only garner a measly 27% of the vote. Talisa Soto, Mie Hama, and Akiki Wakabayashi were way behind in single digits.
Mrs. Roberts was also our first inductee into the 007Forever Hall of Shame for a performance so bad that it literally brings tears of pain to the eyes of everyone who watches it 16 years later. Ms. Roberts, accompanied to the stage by her husband, accosted Icebreaker and angrily grabbed the plastic statuette and check out of his hands. She said: “You can take this check and sho-“. Before she could finish her sentence, her husband interrupted: “Don`t bother Tanya. He`s a psychopath.” Moving on…
The award for WORST PERFORMANCE BY AN INANIMATE OBJECT was Sean Connery`s toupee in Never Say Never Again, winning a staggering vote total of 75%.
For WORST ACTOR, the race was only slightly closer. Sausage king Jimmy Dean led the pack with over 40% of the votes, while Alan Cummings and Michael Lonsdale race a close second with 19% and 20% of the votes respectively. Christopher Lee and Curt Jurgens were a distant 4th and 5th place.
WORST ORIGINAL SCORE was another blowout. Michael LeGrand handily beat his competition with more than half of all ballots cast. Eric Serra had a strong second place showing, but both David Arnold, Bill Conti and Michael Kamen were in distant 3rd, 4th and 5th place.
WORST TITLE OR THEME SONG was extremely close, with Eric Serra`s Experience of Love running neck and neck with Lani Hall`s Never Say Never Again but in the end, Eric Serra won out. The deciding vote was cast by Jeremy Schabow. Yes folks, the race was that tight.
WORST SCREENPLAY was a bit closer, but Casino Royale still managed to win that contest by 11 percentage points. Never Say Never Again came in with 30% of the vote. LTK, TND and TMWTGG were far behind.
WORST DIRECTOR was another blowout. Irvin Kershner easily won that honor with a whopping 42% of the vote. Everyone else was a distant 2nd through 5th place.
WORST FILM was somewhat a suprise, as most picked Casino Royale for that award, shocking industry insiders who believed License To Kill would walk away with that coveted honor. Casino Royale had 41% of the vote, with Never Say Never Again getting 25%. Everyone else had meager votes cast.
When it comes to BEST 007, Sean Connery is the winner hands down. His performance in Goldfinger won for BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR PLAYING JAMES BOND with 35% of the vote. Connery also came in 2nd with 21% of the vote for his performance in the scene where 007 kills professor Dent. Timothy Dalton came in with a close 3rd place finishing for his performance in License To Kill. Apparently a lot of people loved his line delivery when he sent Killifer to the sharks. George Lazenby cradling a dead Tracy garnered 17% of the vote and for some bizarre reason, neither one of Roger Moore`s scenes received more than 4% of the vote. We think the ballot may have confused some voters who probably meant to vote for Moore rather than Lazenby, so we are going to disqualify these results.
Shirley Bassey won for BEST TITLE OR THEME SONG with her rendition of Goldfinger.
John Barry was up four times in the category of BEST ORIGINAL SCORE and won by a huge margin for his work in ON HER MAJESTY`S SECRET SERVICE with 62% of the vote.
Judi Dench lost an Oscar for “Chocolat” but won a “Bondie” for her performance in THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH with 44% of the vote. Lucianna Paluzzi came in a close 2nd with 37%.
Desmond Llewelyn handily beat his competition for BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR with 46% of the vote.
Diana Rigg won big for her role as Tracy in ON HER MAJESTY`S SECRET SERVICE. She had nearly double what her next closest competitor, Sophie Marceau with 22%, got.
Sean Bean won for BEST ACTOR by beating out rival villain Robert Davi. Bean garnered 36% of the vote.
Richard Maibaum was the surprise winner for BEST SCREENPLAY with ON HER MAJESTY`S SECRET SERVICE. Maibaum was unable to attend the ceremony and receive his award due to his being dead. 007Forever accepts this award on his behalf.
Guy Hamilton won the Bondie for BEST DIRECTOR for his work on The Man With The Golden Gun. Just kidding! Yeah, it was Goldfinger he won for. Everyone knew that was coming. No one was within striking distance, though Michael Apted did manage a very respectable 2nd place showing with 20% of the vote.
And last but not least was BEST PICTURE and to no one`s suprise, GOLDFINGER beat everyone to a bloody pulp with 50% of the vote total.
With all awards shows, some of the major surprises included those who didn`t win. Octopussy managed to be shut out of every category, while On Her Majesty`s Secret Service and Goldfinger all had good nights, racking up several Bondies each. The nominees were as follows:
For artistic merit:
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Judi Dench (The World Is Not Enough)
Luccianna Paluzzi (Thunderball)
Barbara Carrera (Never Say Never Again)
Gloria Hendry (Live and Let Die)
Grace Jones (A View To A Kill)
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Sophie Marceau (The World Is Not Enough)
Diana Rigg (On Her Majesty`s Secret Service
Izzabella Scorupco (Goldeneye)
Honor Blackman (Goldfinger)
Maud Adams (Octopussy)
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Vijay Armitraj (Octopussy)
Desmond Llewelyn (Octopussy)
Joe Don Baker (The Living Daylights)
Clifton James (Live and Let Die)
Robert Carlyle (The World Is Not Enough)
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Louis Jourdan (Octopussy)
Christopher Walken (A View To A Kill)
Klaus Maria-Brandauer (Never Say Never Again)
Robert Davi (License To Kill)
Sean Bean (Goldeneye)
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR PLAYING JAMES BOND
George Lazenby (holding his dead wife in On Her Majesty`s Secret ServiceL)
Sean Connery (shooting Professor Dent in Dr.No)
Sean Connery (strapped to a laser table in Goldfinger)
Roger Moore (confessing to killing Anya`s lover in The Spy Who Loved Me
Roger Moore (confronting General Orlov and defusing the bomb in the circus in Octopussy
Timothy Dalton (“You earned it. You keep it, old buddy!” from License To Kill)
BEST DIRECTOR
Michael Apted (The World Is Not Enough)
John Glen (The Living Daylights)
John Glen (Octopussy)
Guy Hamilton (Goldfinger)
Lewis Gilbert (The Spy Who Loved Me)
BEST SCREENPLAY
Richard Maibaum and Michael G. Wilson (The Living Daylights)
Richard Maibaum and Michael G. Wilson (Octopussy)
Richard Maibaum and Paul Dehn (Goldfinger)
Richard Maibaum and Joanna Harwood (Dr.No)
Richard Maibaum and Simon Raven (On Her Majesty`s Secret Service)
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BEST MOTION PICTURE
The World Is Not Enough
Goldfinger
The Spy Who Loved Me
The Living Daylights
On Her Majesty`s Secret Service
Technical Achievements:
BEST SET DESIGN
Ken Adam (Fort Knox-Goldfinger)
Ken Adam (Blofeld`s volcano – You Only Live Twice)
Ken Adam (The Liparus – The Spy Who Loved Me)
Ken Adam and Anton Furst for (Drax`s Space Station- Moonraker)
Peter Lamont (The Mainstrike Mine – A View To A Kill)
BEST COSTUME DESIGN
Emma Porteous for The Living Daylights (Kara and Bond`s Afghan wear)
Emma Porteous for Octopussy (Octopussy`s royal palace wear)
Marjory Cornelius for On Her Majesty`s Secret Service (Blofeld`s Angel`s wear)
Anthony Mendelson for Thunderball (Junkanoo costumes and formal wear)
Emma Porteous for A View To A Kill (Ascot racing wear)
BEST THEME OR TITLESONG
Paul McCartney and Wings (Live and Let Die)
Carly Simon (Nobody Does It Better-The Spy Who Loved Me)
Sheena Easton (For Your Eyes Only)
Duran Duran (A View To A Kill)
Shirley Bassey (Goldfinger)
BEST ORIGINALSCORE
John Barry (Goldfinger)
John Barry (On Her Majesty`s Secret Service)
John Barry (Octopussy)
John Barry (Moonraker)
George Martin (Live and Let Die)
Awards for dubious artistic and technical achievement:
WORST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A LEADING OR SUPPORTING ROLE:
Tanya Roberts (A View To A Kill)
Talisa Soto (License To Kill)
Mie Hama (You Only Live Twice)
Akiki Wakabayashi (You Only Live Twice)
Denise Richards (The World Is Not Enough)
WORST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A LEADING OR SUPPORTING ROLE
Jimmy Dean (Diamonds Are Forever)
Alan Cummings (Goldeneye)
Michael Londsdale (Moonraker)
Curt Jurgens (The Spy Who Loved Me)
Christopher Lee (The Man With The Golden Gun)
WORST SCREENPLAY
License To Kill
The Man With The Golden Gun
Never Say Never Again
Casino Royale (1967)
Tomorrow Never Dies
WORST DIRECTOR
Roger Spottiswoode (Tomorrow Never Dies)
John Glen (A View To A Kill)
Guy Hamilton (The Man With The Golden Gun)
Lewis Gilbert (Moonraker)
Irvin Kershner (Never Say Never Again)
WORST FILM
The Man With The Golden Gun
Never Say Never Again
Casino Royale
License To Kill
Moonraker
WORST TITLE OR THEME SONG
Lani Hall (Never Say Never Again)
Eric Serra (The Experience of Love)
Rage (Make It Last All Night-For Your Eyes Only)
Sheryl Crow (Tomorrow Never Dies)
Scott Walker (Only Myself to Blame-The World Is Not Enough)
WORST ORIGINAL SCORE
Eric Serra (Goldeneye)
Bill Conti (For Your Eyes Only)
Michael LeGrand (Never Say Never Again)
David Arnold (The World Is Not Enough)
Michael Kamen (License To Kill)
WORST PEFORMANCE BY AN INANIMATE OBJECT
Roger Moore (A View To A Kill)
Sean Connery`s toupee (Never Say Never Again)
Roger Moore`s eyebrows (Octopussy)
Sean Connery`s baby blue, terry cloth robe (Goldfinger)
Roger Moore`s “colostomy bag” (The Spy Who Loved Me)