Category Archives: Weird and Wonderful

Crazy Crossovers


Crazy Crossovers

With heightened hype on the Fleming Centenary, QOS and now, the forthcoming Peter Jackson-produced Hobbit it’s time for (drum roll, please) more crazy crossovers…

“Now pay attention, Gandalf! First, your new car, Shadowfax. Comes when you whistle “God Save The Queen”, goes 0 to 100 to Mordor in 15 seconds, and of course, 9 beverage cup holders for the 9 black riders…”

This one may seem crazy but no more so than Lucas and Speilberg’s Bond-imitative “Raiders” series…

“Now hear this, Goldfinger. Throw me the idol, and I’ll give you the whip…”

“James, where have you been? M has a big bee in his bonnet…

…Would you believe, chased by Auca Indians and a giant ball in their temple?”

And your crazy crossover is… ?

The Face Of Bond Through The Years

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Davi meet McCain. McCain meet Davi.

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Two-Way 007 Quiz

— Folks are celebrating 2 holidays, Christmas and Chanukah, this week. So here’s my gift–a celebratory Double Bond Quiz. For example, which 2 movie Bonds have Bonded twice now? Answer–Dalton and Craig, though many of us would like to see BOTH do a third Bond film soon.

Q. In which 2 Bond movies does Bond wear a pair of (2-legged) denim jeans? NSNA doesn’t count, by the way, those were overalls and not jeans Bond wore while fishing.

Q. In which 2 Bond films is Bond’s–shall we say–rear exit–made use of in humorous fashion? And in which Bond film did Sir Roger Moore merit 2 extra exits, per his personal report from on set? (Hey, I didn’t say this was an easy quiz!)
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Q. In which 2 Bond movies do we see onscreen a heroin needle? And in which 2 films (and these are 2 different movies, not the first 2) is heroin smuggling integral to the Bond plot?

Bonus Q.: Name a Bond film with a body in a trunk 2 times, and 2 bodies in the back of a plane, once. It is implied a body was in a trunk a third time, too! That’s just weird.

Maybe I Am Hearing Things

I happened to see Quantum Of Solace again yesterday and heard these (!):

Bond and Camille’s first meeting: “You’re late.” “I had to meet with a friend of Mr. White.”

Bond and Mathis in Talamone: “Do you know Bolivia?” “I have a few friends there, I was stationed in South America for 7 years…”

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That makes a total of sixteen (16) uses of “friend” or “friends” in the film!

See my related story.

bond as mary sue?

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You decide: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue#Canon-Sue_.28in_fan_fiction.29

tweeting 007

Whether you think it’s sick or sane, Twitter is here to stay. Somehow condensing comedy or action updates into 140 characters or less has caused a great craze worldwide.

For James Bond, consider how compactly you can describe his movies and books. For example, The Spy Who Loved Me becomes “The one with Jaws” and Moonraker, “The other one with Jaws”.

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What are your “tweets” of the Bond films and books?

Bond real world connection # 68794

I was just out walking my pet rat and i seemed to have got lost.

There really are people (and a pool) down there… you won’t believe this real world story!

Under the tunnels? Curly, just give me my stamps!

**

LOVEBIRDS Steven and Kathryn share a well-organised home in bustling Las Vegas. They have a neat, if compact kitchen, a furnished living area, and a bedroom complete with double bed, wardrobe and bookshelf featuring a wide selection including a Frank Sinatra biography and Spanish phrase book.

And they make their money in some of the biggest casinos in the world.

But their life is far from the ordinary.

Because, along with hundreds of others, the couple are part of a secret community living in the dark and dirty underground flood tunnels below the famous strip.

Rather than working in the bars or kitchens they “credit hustle”, prowling the casinos searching the fruit machines for money or credits left by drunken gamblers.

Despite the risks from disease, highly venomous spiders and flooding washing them away, many of the tunnel people have put together elaborate camps with furniture, ornaments and shelves filled with belongings.

Steven and girlfriend Kathryn’s base – under Caesar’s Palace casino – is one of the most elaborate. They even have a kettle and a makeshift shower fabricated out of an office drinking water dispenser.

But their bed and many of their belongings are on crates to keep them off the damp floor.

Despite it being hot and dry outside, their tunnel is wet from water being sent down from nearby construction work.

As he gives a guided tour of home, Steven Dommermuth explains: “We use our imagination a lot.

“Our bed came from a skip outside an apartment complex. It’s mainly stuff people dump that we pick up. One man’s junk is another man’s gold.

“We get the stuff late at night so people don’t see us because it’s kind of embarrassing.”

He later gives directions to the tunnels’ own art gallery, a collection of graffiti by local artists and some by the underground residents.

Steven moved into the tunnels two years ago after he lost his hotel front-desk job due to a heroin problem he claims he kicked in January.

He now works the same hotels credit-hustling, and his life retains other similarities with the one he left behind.

He says: “We work our way down the strip. The most I’ve ever found is 997 dollars (£609) on one machine. I’ve found about $500 a few times. But normally $20 or so is enough to call it a night.

“We buy food and supplies like shampoo and soap. Last night I went and watched the new Quentin Tarantino movie Inglourious Basterds up at the Palms Hotel.”

Despite his established set-up, Steven claims he eventually wants to leave the tunnels but can’t because of two outstanding arrest warrants from drug possession charges two years ago.

It is estimated the population of the underground community could be as many as 700. As well as credit-hustling, they earn their money off the wildly excessive city above by begging and “dumpster diving” – raiding bins and skips.

There are around 350 miles of flood channels running under Las Vegas. Most inhabitants are in the area under the city’s strip.

Another couple, Amy and JR, have lived in the tunnels for two years, having moved to Las Vegas in search of work, wealth and a slice of the famous Sin City action.

Putting down the Twilight vampire book she is reading for the third time, Amy, 33, explains: “My husband and I have been down here two years this week.

“We were living with my mom in California but the house was full and we had to leave.

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“But it was tough and we started living under the staircase outside the MGM casino. Then we met a guy who lived in the tunnels. We’ve been down here ever since.

“I have my books, my CD player, crossword puzzles, some clothes and my picture of our son Brady, who was killed 11 years ago at four months old. The main dangers are the floods and the Black Widow spiders. But it’s not a terrible place to be if you’re homeless.

“It’s much cooler than on the streets, we get a breeze coming through and the cops don’t really bother you. It’s quiet and everyone helps each other out down here.

“I hope to get out one day. But I want to stay in Las Vegas – I love it here.”

Amy and JR met 13 years ago and even got married in one of the city’s popular wedding chapels on Valentine’s Day last year.

Their wedding had some similarities with the 110,000 other couples who get hitched in the city each year.

JR, 36, explains: “We got married in the Shalimar Chapel.

“We went to watch a show, then to McDonald’s for dinner. We got a little bit drunk and did the other normal wedding day things – only we had to come back down here rather than go to a hotel room.”

Some of those living there have been forced into the network of tunnels by the recession and difficult job market.

Food The economic downturn has hit the underground residents in their pockets too.

Amy and JR’s neighbour Jamie, showing off a wristband he found that gives him free food all day at a hotel buffet, explains: “I’ve been down here since May.

“I’ve worked at a lot of the hotels, mainly in building and construction, but not for a couple of years. The jobs are harder to come by now.

“Now I credit hustle but there are lots more people doing it these days. Hundreds and hundreds. You see little old ladies doing it.”

As for other entertainment in the tunnels, the 45-year-old adds: “We’re big talk radio fans. And a few of us are accomplished musicians and have instruments here.

“One guy down here has a full-time job. I don’t think gambling is the cause of many people being down here. It’s more alcohol and drugs. We all gamble a bit – we’re in Vegas.”

Local writer Matthew O’Brien, who has had a book published about the tunnel people, called Beneath The Neon, has been working with Steven and others to help get people housed. He recently founded the Shine A Light foundation to aid them.

He explains: “I guide social workers into the tunnels, show them the terrain and introduce them to people.

“They offer these people services like health and drug counselling.

“We have got 12 to 15 people into houses in the last six months.

“But a lot of the people are very resistant to help. Many don’t want to give up their addictions.

“They like their freedom and that no one is telling them what to do.

“They are scared of what’s out there.

“To come out of the tunnel and face the world is intimidating for some of the people. Some are very much entrenched down in that tunnel and comfortable. That’s why the charity doesn’t like to give out too much food, water and clothing.

“We don’t want them to get too comfortable because it is really an illusion. It can be extremely dangerous.

“It doesn’t rain much in Nevada but when it does the tunnels can fill very quickly. There have been 20 drownings in the last 20 years and a lot of those were people who were living in the tunnels.

“Steve and Kathryn can say they feel like they have a home. But when it pours down three inches of rain in two hours it’s clear it’s not a home. It’s a flood channel.”

timothy dalton spotted in textbook

So, I’m reviewing my daughter’s high school Theatre textbook last night for her drama class. I’m just sitting there listening to the drama teacher at Parent/Teacher night, flipping through the pages looking at photos.

All of a sudden, I see Timothy Dalton in costume for an illustration discussing contemporary sets and costumes on stage.

And there you have it.

Kara, we’re inside a Russian air base in Afghanistan…”

Sanchez Rant

Lazy Sunday, I watched AVTAK and LTK yesterday. Several rants are to ensue, starting with:

Franz Sanchez is a sadistic psychopath! An aircraft pilot and drug lord, Sanchez owns a casino topped by a multi-story hotel, a bank, a palatial home, an airport and an airline concession, a small army headed by a Colonel with its own tank, ninja-killing warriors and stinger missiles, and an entire new age religion headquartered in an ancient temple complex with a hidden heliport and drug lab. He wears thousand-dollar silk shirts and his pet iguana wears a million dollar diamond necklace. Sanchez further owns a gasoline export concern that ships worldwide via oil tanker and also his local mayor and chief of police, a general and a president. His bank heads the “world’s largest private investment fund” that launders a cash surplus of $10 Million PER DAY through the U.S. Federal Reserve to legitimate holdings.

His maniacal plot is to expand his cartel which extends from Chile to Alaska into Asia by using a unique drug smuggling method impervious to any government’s technology. By the tank chase scene Sanchez holds an added $500 Million in bearer bonds and TONS of cocaine in his tanker truck fleet.

Raoul Silva is also a sadistic psychopath! A rogue agent, he owns an art theft and smuggling concern and a deserted island serviced by a 250-foot luxury yacht and a beautiful prostitute. He owns influence in his local casino, a large helicopter, and a great many computer servers.
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His maniacal plot is to shame MI-6, kill M, and directly and indirectly, many of her field agents.

Sanchez has been called “not a big enough villain” but Silva has been called “the best villain since Kronsteen or Goldfinger.”

Rant 1 has been executed.

Ride Virtually With Bond, Live!

Motion simulation experience utilizing film footage, a giant-screen image, digital audio technology, special effects and moving seats to create the sensation of speed and motion as you join James Bond in a series of hair-raising stunts.

Ride Designers: Produced by Landmark Entertainment in association with MGM and Danjaq.

The Landmark Entertainment Group is renowned for creating, producing and delivering attractions representing the “magic of Hollywood” to venues around the world including: Terminator 2/3D and Ghostbusters Spooktacular for Universal Studios Florida; Jurassic Park: The Ride and Kongfrontation for Universal Studios Hollywood; and Star Trek: The Experience at the Las Vegas Hilton, a joint production with Paramount Parks.

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Ride Duration: 4 minutes
Number of Theaters: 2
Seating Capacity: 148 passengers
Ride Capacity: 1,480 guests per hour

Collecting the Lifestyle of James Bond

Paul Kyriazi specializes in making men of mice, and Bonds out of barely successful fellows. He is the author and lecturer of “How to Live the JAMES BOND Lifestyle”, a fascinating program geared toward turning our Walter Mitty-ish fantasies about the world’s greatest super spy into practical advice for conquering our own personal supervillains and winning the girl and saving the day.

Drawing heavily from the world of 007, especially the man’s man portrayal of Bond in the early 60’s films, Kyriazi walks his listeners through more than a dozen chapters offering advice on everything from the secret motivations of women to “taking command” of resorts and securing choice hotel accommodations, to gambling in Las Vegas like Bond in Diamonds Are Forever (but on a sensible gaming budget!) and living, thinking, dressing and acting for success, just like our man 007.

Straightforward, whimsical and personable, Kyriazi delivers a cornucopia of tips and tricks for success for men among James Bondian moves, witticisms and choices. He points out the universals of Bond’s appeal, such as a constantly intrigued, bemused expression on a tanned, weathered face with an appetite for life, the delivery of fun, charm and sophistication to any woman he meets, always having the right gadget and the right amount of cash, charm and control to get the job done at hand, and much more. Kyriazi’s Bond is the gentlemanly lover of a good woman in “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service”, the connoisseur of fine beverages in “Goldfinger” and the man of the world who knows how to tip his help in “Diamonds Are Forever”.

Working now in Japan to train men to live and think for success with his popular program on “Mr. Kiss-Kiss-Bang-Bang”, Paul Kyriazi has taken the lifestyle of the world’s greatest fictional hero and honed it to acquiring the confidence and sophistication today’s man needs to survive with integrity in our dog-eat-dog culture. Bond fans will enjoy his materials and reminiscences, and men needing to get organized, get sensible about their budgets and get ahead in life will benefit as well.

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–Matt Sherman’s twenty-year-plus hobby of collecting James Bond 007 has taken on a new and ironic dimension through “How to Live the JAMES BOND Lifestyle”, practicality!