wild script – The Man With The Golden Gun

At the end of the pre-credit sequence, Scaramanga shoots the Bond effigy in the heart.

Q and Major Boothroyd are two separate people; in the film, Boothroyd is renamed Calthorpe. The script actually identifies Tanner as the Chief of Staff.
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The Saida sequence is considerably different (and much better than what`s in the film). Bond doesn`t swallow the lucky charm, nor does he fight Arabs.

The scene is set in a bordello in Beiruit`s red light district, not a nightclub. Bulbs from the ceilings make pools of light between dark areas. A fat, oily customer, indicative of the establishment`s clientele, emerges from the door of one of the rooms, passing Bond and the Madam as she leads him towards Saida`s room in the background.

Madam: “All my girls, monsieur, are famous beauties, but you are fortunate Saida was recommended to you.”

Bond: “The specialties of the house, I hear”.

A silhouetted figure, back to the camera, appears in the foreground watching Bond and the Madam.

Bond and the Madam stops outside Saida`s door.

Madam: A dove, a little bird of Paradise – and so talented.

Madam opens door.

Madam: Saida, here is a handsome Englishman for you.

Bond goes in. The Madam closes the door behind him.

Saida`s room is fairly large: it`s the showplace of the house, the decor partly Middle Eastern, partly Empire. Crystal chandelier et al vie with Persian rugs, silk wall hangings, etc. A carved, three-panel, latticed screen is positioned about fifteen feet away at a forty-five degree angle from the foot of the bed. It stands in front of an arched doorway opening on to a balcony running along the back of the house and masks a courtyard below.

Saida is excessively plump and over made up, but definitely not an “old bag.” Mind you, Bond is “unable to restrain a wince.”

Saida (flirtatiously): Oui, you are very handsome. (getting off bed) And Saida?

She undulates towards him, models herself provocatively, featuring a curvaceous but out-sized haunch.

Saida: Do you like her?

Bond: A dove, a little bird of Paradise.

Saida: Come. Saida can take you there.

Bond (stalling): Yes, of course, indubitably – but couldn`t we just chat?

Saida (Staring at him): With Saida? That is an insult!

Bond (craftily): I mean first.

Saida (mollified, returning to the bed): You are so English, you English.

They discuss Bill Fairbanks, as they do in the film. Eventually she clamps her arms around Bond. The camera pans slowly to the screen. Through the lattice work we glimpse a shadowy figure holding something. Scaramanga and gun?

Bond simultaneously pulls his gun out of the holster and rolls off the bed. Bond comes up in a half-crouch, still holding gun, and launches a flying dropkick at the screen. It crashes over, pinning Hammud, a husky, swarthy Lebanese, under it. Bond pulls him out from under screen to his knees and covers him with his gun. Hammud still hands on to a camera.

Hammud (gasping): Don`t shoot! I give you film! No charge!

He moves as though to hand Bond the camera, instead knocks the gun out of Bond`s hand with it. Bond brings his knee up under Hammud`s chin. Hammud falls back, drops camera. Bond picks it up. Hammud tries to get up. Bond bashes him over the head with camera. Then he wraps the strap around Hammud`s neck and twists it until his eyes bulge. Bond releases him, gasping, yanks Hammud to his feet, screws off lens, shoves it into Hammud`s mouth. Saida watches wide-eyed. Bond turns him around, hustles him out through the arched doorway. And propels him over the balcony railing. Hammud drops a short flight into a large refuse bin, groggily tries to climb out. Bond turns, goes back into the room. Returns with Hammud`s camera, aims, chucks it down over railing. Camera conks Hammud on the head and shoulders and knocks him back into refuse bin, out cold.

Bond comes in from the balcony.

Bond: I never liked home movies.

He picks up gun, puts it back into holster on chair, turns to her.

Bond: Where were we? Oh, yes.

She scurries back to the bed. He walks past her, kneels down to inspect wall on the other side. He sees the bullet hole. Bond stands up.

Bond: The bullet was never found. (turning towards her) What hap-

He stops abruptly. Saida is in bed, the sheet pulled up to her waist. Bond comes slowly towards her. We now see Saida has a black ribbon around her throat. Bond sits down on the edge of the bed. Bond examines the mashed golden bullet hanging on a ribbon in her cleavage.

Saida: My lucky charm. I never take it off.

She holds out her arms. Camera moves in Bond`s reaction. Big “Things I do for England” sigh.

Bond reluctantly takes off his jacket.

Later that night, the red light district, a narrow street, is deserted. Saida sleeps contentedly, a thoroughly satisfied female. She stirs, turns in the bed to find Bond. He`s gone. Saida sits up abruptly. The bullet is also gone.

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The Queen Elizabeth scene ends earlier. Hip says, “Out of his pin money.” Bond replies, “I`d like to strike up an acquaintance with him, sir. I have a notion how to approach him.” Everybody stares at Bond, then we cut to-

Hong Kong Tai Pak Airport. Bond, carrying hand luggage, pays off his taxi and hurries into the airport. Hip is standing by the check-in desks, as Bond joins him.

Bond: Where`s Q?

Hip: Not here yet.

Voice: Boarding passes.

Goodnight, looking very trim, joins them, holding passes.

Bond: Three?

Goodnight: You stood me up last night, James, so buy me dinner in Bangkok.

Bond: Would M approve?

Goodnight: He suggested it. (enjoying herself) After last night`s debacle I suppose he thought a keen, efficient operative might not be amiss.

Bond: Quite right, too. Someone will have to keep an eye on me while I`m asleep.

A voice over PA announces departure of plane to Bangkok. Hip and Goodnight go past check-in desks. Bond sees Q hurrying towards him, carrying a tiny package. Puffing hard, Q reaches him.

Bond: Have you got the item I requested?

Q (panting): Stayed up all night making it (handing him a tiny opaque plastic box). I say, Double-O-Seven, you`re getting awfully kinky.

Bond (taking box): Thank you, Q.

He turns to follow Hip and Goodnight.

Q: Just a moment, Double-O-Seven (unslinging camera case) I believe you`ll find this unusually handy.

Bond: Not my hobby.

Q (taking camera out of case): It is now.

Bond: If you`ll excuse me, Q, my flight.

He walks past check-in desk.

Bond walks rapidly towards boarding gate and Q trots alongside him.

Q: Really, Double-O-Seven, you`re being unusually obtuse today. I`ve designed this for prompt emergency action by merely selecting and setting appropriate shutter speeds.

Passengers go through the boarding gate. Hip and Goodnight reach it. Hip goes through. Goodnight turns back and gestures for Bond to hurry up.

Bond and Q approach boarding gate.

Q (ratting on): Gas ejection – instant solidification, liquid non-adhesion. Fortunately there`s a complete manual in the case which I strongly advise you to study carefully, but whatever you do (indicating on camera) never, never press this without first turning that.

Bond: Why not

Q: Self-destruct mechanism. Whtt!

He pantomimes explosion. They stop at gate, beside Goodnight.

Bond: Most ingenious. But I`m sure there`s one thing it can`t do.

Q: What?

Bond: Take a photograph.

Q (putting camera back in case): There`s no need to be facetious. Actually you`re right, but I`m working on it. (thrusting camera case into Bond`s hand) Happy landing.

He bustles off. Stuck with camera, Bond slings it over his shoulder and accompanies Goodnight through boarding gate.
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Hip`s nieces are named Nara and Cha. The karate school set-piece is different.

Headmaster: Good morning, Mr Bond. On behalf of my Academy I accept your challenge.

Bond: My what?

Headmaster: It is a source of great pride to us that we are prepared to oblige all comers. Have you any requests?

Bond (looking around): Is there a doctor in the house?

Headmaster: Excellent, Mr Bond. Always strive to strike fear into an adversary. I will be most interested to see your individual style of self-defence.

Bond (dead pan): So will I.

In slow motion, a student throws slabs of wood, each about seven inches square and an inch thick at a black belter who chops at them with the side of his hand and splits them in mid air one after the other.

Bond bows to the first black belter to indicate that he`s ready. The black belter scowls, starts circling Bond. Bond reaches into tunic, takes out iron incense burner rest, tosses it toward opponent. In slow motion, the black belter instinctively chops at it. He clutches his hand, grimacing, and retires.

The second black belter is bigger, tougher, uglier than the first. He circles Bond with the usual sneers, growls, hisses. Bond sticks his thumbs in his ears, wiggles his fingers, crosses his eyes. The second black belter stops, disconcerted. Bond stamps hard on the arch of the black belter`s foot. He grimaces, limps away disdainfully, squats and rubs his foot.

Bond fights Chula. Chula knocks him down again, then grabs Bond`s neck in a both-hand squeeze, a possibly fatal hold. Cha and Nara – Hip`s nieces – come to Bond`s aid. Actually, they are professional Thai girl kick-fighters. The crowd gasps as the two girls go to work on Chula with their fists, elbows, knees, feet, even butting with their heads. Chula goes down. Students and black belters rush to help Chula. The girls and Bond fight their way through them towards an exit. Hip joins them. They fight their way into the courtyard, pursued by students and black belters.

Hip and Cha are separated from Bond and Nara. Hip and Cha get out through the gate first, and run to Hip`s car as students pursue them. Bond and Nara fight their way out through the gate. However, students block the way to Hip`s car. Bond and Nara turn, run in the opposite direction, as Chula and three other black belters emerge from gate, see them, and follow.

Hip and Cha get in the car; Hip swerves to avoid hitting spectators emerging from courtyard through the gate. He can`t see Bond or Nara beyond the milling crowd.

Bond and Nara run along the wall in front of the courtyard, away from Hip and Cha in car. He looks back. Chula and the black belters spot them. Bond and Nara turn the corner of wall, and run towards the back of the houses beyond; the houses are built on stilts. Bond and Nara run along the side of a house. All kinds of boats are moored and tied up along a bank. Market boats in the stream are filled with melons, kitchen utensils, flowers, etc. Bond and Nara reach the bank. They look back. Chula and three of his men are coming after them alongside the house on stilts.

Bond and Nara jump from boat to boat working their way to the opposite bank. Nara misses her footing and falls into the water. Bond looks back for her. Though a great kick-boxer, she is obviously no swimmer. She thrashes around in the water. Chula and the black belters see Bond come back and dive in after her.

Chula and his men commandeer a market boat. Two men pole it past other boats toward Bond and Nara. Bond boosts her out of water onto a market boat with the help of a market man. She splutters and is winded. He sees Chula`s boat approaching, climbs back on deck, and picks Nara up.

Bond resumes crossing the stream by leaping from boat to boat while carrying Nara. In the background, Chula`s boat gains on him.

Three long-screwed Thai motor boats are tied to the dock. Bond sets Nara down. He pulls her with him into one of the motor boats, casts of, starts motor, operates long rudder pole with spinning screw at the back, backs boat into stream, swings boat around, capsizing the melon market boat as he does, then drives out of stream.

Bond and Nara manoeuvre in and out of all types of other boats of as he drives downstream.

Chula and one of the men commandeer one boat, the other two get in another.

Their new boats back out away from the dock, swing around, then pursue Bond`s boat downstream. They gain on it as Bond`s boat encounters growing river traffic.

Bond drives behind a large passenger launch. Chula`s boat roars past on the opposite side so that it is now ahead of Bond`s. Bond now has one hostile boat downstream of him, the other upstream.

Chula`s boat turns to come upstream.

Bond sees Chula in front of him, looks back, sees second boat gaining on him. He heads through the water traffic toward the bank and floating market.

Chula`s boats close in on Bond`s. Chula`s boats back off, turn around, then back toward Bond`s, the props on the end of the rudder poles whirling.

Bond and Chula`s boats manoeuvre as they attempt to cut each other down with the props. This takes them close to the bank.

A prop shears off the strut holding up the canopy over a boat load of tourists. It collapses on them.

A marketeer frantically tries to avoid veering tourist boat. It crashes into the poles holding up a house on bank. The house collapses.

Other boats try to avoid the manoeuvring long-screwed boats. They collide, tip over, and dump produce and merchandise into the water along with market people.

Chula`s second boat barely misses Bond with shirling prop. Bond manoeuvres to strike back at driver of second boat. Offscreen scream as his prop evidently hits driver of second boat. Sound of splash. Blood on the water at the centre of outgoing concentric ripples.

Bond (to Nara): He screwed himself up.

Bond manoeuvres his boat to put other water traffic between him and Chula`s boat. Bond and Nara get out of the motor boat and scramble onto a barge shop. They cross a barge crowded with shoppers, including tourists, identifiable by their holiday attire.

Chula and black belters climb out of his motor boat onto the barge shop. They start after Bond and Nara.

Market boats are now densely positioned so that shoppers and tourists can move around the floating market by using gangplanks, bamboo spans, rope ladders, or just by stepping from one boat to the other. Bond and Nara approach a group of tourists on a boat selling all kinds of large straw hats.

JW Pepper`s wife tries on hats while Pepper waits impatiently. Bond and Nara pass them. Pepper looks puzzled, then shakes his head.

Chula and the black belters on the floating market have apparently lost their quarry and look around, frustrated. Black belters from the other prop boat join them.

Bond and Nara see Chula and the black belters with their backs turned toward them. Bond and Nara turn, retrace their steps to get away from them, passing Pepper and Mrs Pepper at the hat shop boat. Close on Pepper. Delayed take, then he remembers.

Pepper: That spy fella!

Bond and Nara disappear behind cabin of a large market boat. Chula and black belters give up the pursuit, disgusted.

Pepper and his wife are among the other tourists.

Pepper: I tell you it was him, Emma! Let`s get out of here!

He turns, bumps into a market man carrying pile of hats, backs up, loses footing, and falls over the side. He comes up spluttering. Excitement among tourists, etc, on hat boat.

Mrs Pepper (Shrilly): JW, get your ass out of that filthy water!

Tourists and the market man pull him back aboard.

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When Bond goes to the auditorium to meet Andrea, girls, not men fight. Scaramanga explains: “You know why those girls aren`t phoney? They`re fighting for husbands. Come from the mountain village up north, Chiang Mai. You need a dowry up there. Win a few fights and you can pick your husband.” Bond: “Lose a few and you end up a pug-ugly old maid.” Scaramanga doesn`t tell Bond about the elephant that he had when he was young.

JW isn`t in the car chase scene. A prospective buyer, a small, spectacled, solemn faced Thai, tentatively kicks one of the tires. He gets into the car and sits in the passenger seat. Bond gets into the car. The prospective buyer says, “Give me demonstration, please. How is pickup?” Bond drives the car out through the showroom window. Hip freezes as the Ford, with Bond behind wheel sitting next to the prospective buyer, comes at him. Bond swerves just in time to avoid hitting him. The prospective buyer displays true Oriental unflappability, his face expressionless. Bond says apologetically, “You wanted a demonstration.” The prospective buyer raises an eyebrow when Bond drives up the broken bridge. After the stunt, the prospective buyer merely gives the suggestion of a blink. Bond: “Nice family car.” As Scaramanga`s car flies away, the prospective buyer points up at it and says, “No care for that model. (gesturing back at the Ford) I take that one.”

Scaramanga tells Bond, “If I knew you were coming Nick Nack could have served your favourite meal.” Bond ignores the implications (“last meal”).
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The gun duel is much simpler. The following is all there is; nothing has been cut (i.e. we don`t actually see Bond change into the effigy`s clothes).

Both Bond and Scaramanga dive and roll behind rocks as Nick Nack yells “Twenty!”. He turns and scrambles away from what he now knows will be a no-holds-barred shoot-out.

From behind a rock, Bond shouts, “Chicken!”

Also behind a rock, Scaramanga shouts back, “How about you?”

Bond: Just a tactical surprise.

Scaramanga: That`s a laugh. I know every rock and bush on this island. You`re dead, Bond.

He darts from behind rock towards another. Bond sees just a flash of Scaramanga, crawling behind clump of brush to take cover behind different rock. Bond fires.

From behind a rock, Scaramanga calls, “You`re slipping, Bond. You had a clean shot at me and blew it. That leaves you five.”

Bond`s voice: Four more than you.

Each man tries to outmanoeuvre the other in an effort to get behind him or make him expose himself. Scaramanga takes advantage of his locale knowledge, Bond of props he finds in the sand. A crab, for instance, which he wedges into the Y of a piece of driftwood and propels over a rock that Scaramanga hides behind. When Scaramanga, surprised, becomes momentarily visible, Bond gets off another shot at him. Scaramanga almost traps Bond by throwing part of an abandoned fishing net over the slump of brush he is using for cover. Bond retaliates by tossing a dead seagull at him. Throughout Scaramanga tries to draw Bond closer to the grotto.

Bond fires again.

Scaramanga (taunting him): Three wasted – and three left – that doubles the odds on you – you`re a long shot now, Bond.

From behind rock, Bond (shouting back): That just pumps my adrenalin faster. You`re playing it close. Is that what they taught you when you were a KGB punk?

Scaramanga: You`re a limey punk yourself – and so far it looks like they didn`t teach you much.

Scaramanga sprints a few yards towards the cover of a rock nearer the grotto entrance.

Bond fires. Scaramanga reaches the cover of rock.

Scaramanga: Two left, Double-O-Seven.

He takes of yachting jacket, stuffs it with seaweed. Then he reaches for rotting plank and puts his yachting cap on it. By holding the plank behind the stuffed jacket he has made a passable stimulation of himself. He holds it up over top of rock.

Bond fires. Scaramanga fires golden gun back.

Bond drops back behind rock, not hit. Bond realizes that Scaramanga must now be without ammo. Or is he?

Scaramanga behind rock grinning as he loads another golden bullet into golden gun. He rises, sprints towards grotto entrance.

Bond gets up warily from behind the rock and pursues Scaramanga.

Scaramanga lets himself into the door to the foyer of his pad. Bond runs into the grotto in hot pursuit. He reaches door. It opens. Nick Nack looks up at him.

Bond: I`ve never killed a midget – but there has to be a first time for everything – where is he?

Nick Nack gestures for him to come in.

Afterwards, Nick Nack grins and goes back to the all purpose room.

Peering through semi-darkness. Light goes up over mirror and music starts. Bond moves past mirror, proceeding cautiously.

Scaramanga waits for Bond. We hear the James Bond theme. Lights go up on James Bond effigy in background. It drops to one knee as in logo, levels gun at Scaramanga. He laughs, starts past effigy, it fires. The bullet hits Scaramanga. He staggers, raises golden gun to fire back. As he does, wildly, his knees sag, and he sinks to the flor, the golden gun still clutched in his hand.

Close on effigy. But it isn`t. It`s Bond himself who had put on effigy`s coat and hat, etc, and impersonated himself. He rises, comes forward slowly.

Bond stops besides Scaramanga`s body, takes the golden gun out of his hand, turns away, looks for the way out.

Outside the fun house, Goodnight sees Bond and runs to him.

Bond (as she clings to him): Steady, Goodnight. Here`s a souvenir for you.

He gives her the golden gun. She stares at it.

Goodnight: Where is he?

Bond: In a funhouse. He died laughing.

Goodnight does not accidentally hit the switch with her rump during the Solex set-piece, nor does the Solex go on.

Bond and Goodnight have to climb down from the opening of the solex dome, slipping, sliding, desperately hanging on to rocks and shrubbery until they reach the base of the cliff.

For those of you wondering how M had the junk`s phone number, Goodnight had tried phoning M. He wasn`t in.

M: Keep trying, Operator. They tried to contact me ship-to shore so what`s the difficulty?

Operator (faintly audible over receiver): They don`t seem to be taking calls just now, sir.

When he does get through:

M: Is that you, Double-O-Seven? (he listens, smiles broadly) Well done. Congratulations.

Bond: Thank you, sir.

M`s voice (faintly audible over receiver): Can I speak to Miss Goodnight?

Bond: Just a moment, sir – she`s coming.

Inside his office, M waits and waits and waits. Fade out.