9. Aston Martin traded in for Ricky Martin CD. No BMW this time, just a plastic logo on Bond’s key ring.
8. Bond XX megalomaniac holds world for ransom of “Ed McMahon’s ten million dollars”
7. James Bond marked down to James Penny Stocks in “Diamonds Are Forever” remade as “Zirconium Says I Love You”. “Plenty O’Toole” revamped as “Plenty O’Loose Change.”
6. Shaken martinis abandoned for free water from Rave clubs
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4. The World Is Not Only Not Enough, the World Bank is covering Her Majesty’s Losses
3. “Nobody does it better” becomes “Nobody beats MI-6’s prices”
2. “Girls, guns, gadgets galore” becomes “Bond’s World of Discounts”
1. Bond becomes $6.95 marked down from 007