Top Ten Casting Calls We Hope Never To See

From Our “Cast The First Stone” Department

10. Pat Buchanan as “Sheriff J.W. Pepper” (Pepper is less liberal than Buchanan)

9. Ellen Degeneres as “Pussy Galore”

8. Callista Flockhart as “Plenty O’Toole” (The real Plenty, Lana Wood, appeared at Bond Weekend II.)

7. Rosie O’Donnell as “M” (she would emasculate him, then take his gun away!)

6. Billy Bob Thornton as evil henchman, “Sling Blade”
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5. Bill Clinton as “James Bond” (he chases more skirt than 007)

4. Verne Troyer as “Mini-Jaws”

3. Dennis Rodman as “Nick Nack”

2. Monica Lewinsky as “Dr. Holly Goodhead”

1. Mel Brooks as “Ernst Stavro ‘Wacky’ Blofeld”