Bond Weekend 2000 – New Orleans – Spoof Story

…Join us for BCW5, August 30 – September 2, 2002!

Millennial fever got you down? A year that ends in “00” can’t be all bad, folks! The third annual Bond Collectors’ Weekend is our answer to “The Weekend Is Not Enough!”

DISCLAIMER: THE FOLLOWING IS A HUMOROUS PIECE ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED DECEMBER 17, 1999. THE “WEEKEND TO END ALL WEEKENDS” IS SET TO GO WITH CELEBRITIES AND BOND ACTION! CLICK THE “BOND WEEKEND 2000” LINKS BELOW TO FIND OUT MORE OR REGISTER FOR BOND WEEKEND 2000!

Matt Sherman, when interviewed by himself, was extremely forthright and candid about the sketchy, vague and limited details now available for Bond Weekend 2000:

Matt: So, where will the third annual Bond Collectors’ Weekend be held?
Matt: We have narrowed it down to the Continental United States, and that much is sure. Seriously, people have been asking the hosts and me constantly, and we are looking to travel to New Orleans for this third annual Bond fete. Previous successful events were had in Florida and in Las Vegas, Nevada touching on On Her Majesty’s Secret Service and Diamonds Are Forever themes, so “Live and Let Die” fun in “the Big Easy” seemed the next logical choice.

Matt: What has held up the announcement of a weekend date for this event in 2000?
Matt: It’s been a real trial of faith, believe me! First, we hosts receive firm commitments from Connery, Moore, Dalton and Brosnan to attend, and then George Lazenby said the first date we had selected for the other four was a no go, so naturally, that put a stop to everything right there. (Connery then grabbed the “other fellas” for a golf foursome instead.) Then I was surprised and disappointed to find that former James Bond, David Niven, is deceased, no doubt why he is so very slow to reply to my email. Jerry Soules might be able to go, though, and his gloriously self indulgent and yet stupid Bond movie, pictured on the advance shooting poster which accompanies this article, will premiere at the event, if we can find all the pieces currently residing on the cutting room floor.

Matt: What kinds of excitement (or lack of thereof) may fans expect at BCW III?
Matt: Good question, Matt! [Matt smiles, nods approvingly.] For past Bond Weekends, we have enjoyed together Bond celebrities, accommodations next to fans and friends for all-night partying and “chit-chat,” party games and prizes, costumed fun, trade and sale forums for amazing Bond collectibles, Bond location sightseeing, and much, much more! Perhaps you and the 007Forever webmasters can provide convenient links to update stories on Bond Collectors’ Weekend I plus the second BCW in Las Vegas as well, like these two links I have added below the end of this interview.

Matt: Say, Matt, that’s pretty neat, making those links appear at the bottom of this page so conveniently.
Matt: You bet! More power to ‘ya, big guy!
Today we are here to discuss about the sex positions that you should avoid to keep your partner happy with your performance in bed. When one takes the plunge of acquiring parenthood, things in the bedroom go for a complete toss. They discharge a low-force pillar intended to animate follicles and make them wrench out hair the way they’re intended to. Hence, the new, stricter requirements for becoming a driver are much more helpful than it was in the eaten food, and therefore, about any fat-burning effect of this substance can not be considered.
Matt: Are Bond celebrities planning on attending the Collectors’ Weekend?
Matt: Sure. As you know well yourself, Matt, we will again have name actors from the flicks, plus industry insiders and super-collectors from around the big blue marble for lectures, forums, signing collectibles and talking shop. I feel that the REAL celebrities, however, are the many wonderful, crazy people who attend to hang out for the Weekends, and who often bring and share tens of thousands of $$ of their prized book, poster and film collectibles, and their own fan-made props, CDs, cassettes, documentaries, movies and more. It’s all starting to get like another Fandom domain, which shall remain nameless, where many Trekkies have boldly gone before.

Matt: Well that’s it for now, thanks so much for wasting all our time.
Matt: You bet! Watch this Forever space in 2000 for updates for “The Weekend Is Not Enough!” Write us at Bond Weekend 2000 to get on the mailing list.

–Matt Sherman is one host of the annual Bond Collectors’ Weekends, which means he talks to himself on a frequent basis.

Matt: Okay, I think we’re done with interviewing myself, now.
Matt: You wanna get lunch or somethin’

Matt: Sure.
Matt: Great. You’re buying this time.

Matt: Taco Bell?
Matt: Uh-huh.

Keep 007Forever at Cinescape bookmarked for the next year, plus send an eMail to BCW Productions to get on our Bond Weekend mailing list for regular email updates on Bond events and memorabilia, worldwide or call (USA) 352.372.5094 today for more information or to register.