8. Villains just don`t have bullets in their heads like they used to
7. 88% of Bond fans can`t be wrong
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5. They made more Bond movies before this one?
4. Travel with MI-6 and “Ski the World”
3. “I`m having some trouble with a banker…”
2. It`s the only Bond movie you can see on a giant screen this week
1. After this one, you might even say, “Pierce Brosnan IS James Bond”
With A Tip of the Bowler to Messrs. Lee Pfeiffer, Kees Boer and Craig Chenery (Goldfinger is their fave.)
10. Connery as Bond
9. See above
8. Villains just don’t play golf like they used to
7. The Queen Mother, Queen Elizabeth, and the Royal House can’t be wrong about their favorite flick
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3. I laughed, I cried, I kissed 30 bucks goodbye for the 30th Anniversary showing in LA
2. They make an excellent bourbon and branch water in Kentucky
10. I imagine you spend quite a lot of time in the saddle.
9. I was a little restless at first, but I got off eventually.
8. No ma`am, I`m with the economy tour.
7. Well, I`d heard that the price of eggs was going up, but isn`t that a little high?
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5. Trifle overpowering your scent!
9. Diamonds Are Forever: “That`s a nice little nothing you`re almost wearing.”
8. Goldfinger: “Shocking. Positively shocking.”
7. Thunderball: “Do you mind if my friend sits this one out? She`s just dead.”
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5. Diamonds Are Forever: “Mrs. Whistler did want some pictures of the canals for the children.”
10. Recess pleaded for “due to problems delivering subpoena to Ian Fleming”
9. Keeps threatening, Largo-style, to “put the evil eye” on the Judge
8. Sues alt.fan_james.bond newsgroup for claiming Moonraker is a better film than Thunderball
7. Argues in court that all Bond films are essentially remakes of Thunderball including the three films made BEFORE Thunderball.
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5. Bought all possible “Warhead 2002” Internet domain names so they can sell them back for mint prices
4. Keeps trying to electrocute the Judge in his chair and calls her “Number 11”
3. Will end up sueing us over this top ten list.
2. Feels confident they`ll win because “there`s a first time for everything”
1. Makes motion to drop the THUNDERBALL case to sue AOL instead, claiming Kevin McClory and Al Gore invented and patented the Internet
Daniel Craig attending the World Premiere of Spectre, held at the Royal Albert Hall in London. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Monday October 26, 2015. See PA Story: SHOWBIZ Bond. Photo credit should read: Matt Crossick/PA Wire10. Bond XX retitled “The Man With The Second Mortgage” with “baccarat and chemin de fer at Monte Carlo” tossed out for “to the death penny pitching” against Blofeld
9. Aston Martin traded in for Ricky Martin CD. No BMW this time, just a plastic logo on Bond’s key ring.
8. Bond XX megalomaniac holds world for ransom of “Ed McMahon’s ten million dollars”
7. James Bond marked down to James Penny Stocks in “Diamonds Are Forever” remade as “Zirconium Says I Love You”. “Plenty O’Toole” revamped as “Plenty O’Loose Change.”
6. Shaken martinis abandoned for free water from Rave clubs
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4. The World Is Not Only Not Enough, the World Bank is covering Her Majesty’s Losses
3. “Nobody does it better” becomes “Nobody beats MI-6’s prices”
2. “Girls, guns, gadgets galore” becomes “Bond’s World of Discounts”
10. The revolving door to his bedroom frequently jams up.
9. Having that “not so fresh feeling” right before a romantic interlude.
8. Secret trips to Beverly Hills plastic surgeon between missions aren`t covered in MI6`s health plan.
7. Mistaking your silver bullets for your suppositories.
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5. Trying to take a whiz in a men`s room urinal, only to be interrupted by George Michael saying “Ah, Mr. Bond, we meet again.”
4. His Aston Martin may be a computerized, kick-butt arsenal of gadgets, but it won`t translate the Taco Bell drive through window worker`s words into English
3. The World Is Not Enough…and neither is the penicillin.
2. Hard to look suave and debonair with your colostomy bag sloshing around in your Brioni tux
1. Pussy Galore = Herpes Galore
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